A year ago today...

our whole life changed.

The apprehension when you are 'late' is insane. Worse than waiting to hear the results of the marching band competition, when for the past 3 years you'd taken first. Worse than the commercial breaks on a season finale.
A day past, and it's no big deal. We were working on flipping a house, it was hot, I was stressed and busy...so I noticed, but I didn't 'notice'.
At 3-4 days 'late' I started wondering...but shrugged it off. Back in January of 2007 I was CONVINCED I was pregnant (although 4 tests told me I wasn't). Turns out my body was just 'resetting itself' (to the tune of 12 days late). I was crushed. I wanted it SO bad. So even at 5-6 days late I wasn't allowing myself to get excited. I wasn't allowing myself to wonder, to what if, or to dream.
On day 7 I told Aaron I was late.
"how late?" he asked, accompanied with an eyeroll.
"uh"
"HOW late?" by my 'uh' he knew it was more than just my typical couple days
"7 days" I retorted w/out eye contact.

We got a double pack of tests later that afternoon when we went grocery shopping. I bought a double pack of First Response. Convinced I'd need two, and convinced that the more expensive brand would tell me the truth.

I waited until the morning of the 15th to do the test.
Aaron was still asleep.
I hadn't really slept. I kept asking myself in my head...what is morning? (you always hear that your morning pee has more of the pg horomone in it) Is Midnight morning? At 2am will my pee be 'the' morning pee?
I think it was around 5:30 that I finally allowed myself to get out of bed and take the test.
I took the test, and then tried to distract myself with other things for 3 minutes. (This was truly the ONLY time in my pregnancy that was like it was on tv)

The second line was faint, but it was there.
It was there, I was pregnant, and that's all there was to it.

I left the positive test there on the bathroom vanity and retreated back to the bedroom. I knew that Aaron would be getting up to take his bath soon, so he'd see the test.
I felt him get up. I heard the water of the bath start, and I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
I went in and sat on the stool while he was laying half asleep in the tub.

"Hey" I said.
"Mornin'"he grogily returned.
And I waited.
And then I gave him a big eyed look.
"what?" he asked in his sleepy stupor.
"I took the test"
and he inhaled a deep breath. "and?"
"it's positive"
he sighed a hard sigh.
and I left the bathroom to get ready for work.

We both knew we were in for the biggest change of our lives. But neither one of us realized how insanely we'd love her. How we'd miss her when we're away from her. And how we'd cry (yes BOTH of us-sorry Aaron) when we talk about how much she's grown.

We've grown accustomed to her face.

Her sweet face.



Her playful face.




Her thoughtful face.

Her sleepy, just from a nap, wrinkled face.


Her silly, trying so hard to talk face.


Her finger in her mouth constantly face.



So here's to you August 15th. You are a different kind of anniversary. But one we're eternally grateful for, and one we'll never forget.